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What is bullying?

      Bullying comes in many forms and is hard to cope with if you are a victim to it but always remember you are NOT the problem the bully is. Types of bullying fall under six categories, Physical, Verbal, Psychological, Sexual, Racist and Relational Bullying.

 

Examples of Physical bullying. 

  • Hitting or beating
  • pushing
  • pinching
  • tripping 
  • choking
  • kicking
  • shoving
  • spitting
  • damaging property or possessions
  • stealing
  • locking in or out of a space
  • throwing objects at
  • physical acts that are humiliating such as “wedgies” or pulling up of skirts
  • threatening with a weapon
  • inflicting bodily harm

 

Examples of Verbal Bullying. 

  • Name-calling
  • jeering
  • teasing
  • taunting
  • slagging
  • threatening
  • daring others to do things they know to be dangerous or wrong

 

Examples of Psychological bullying. 

  • Excluding
  • isolating
  • demeaning
  • ridiculing
  • Spreading nasty rumours/gossip
  • passing notes
  • using peer pressure to intimidate
  • threatening gestures or looks

 

Sexual Bullying

  • Unwelcome sexual comments
  • unwanted physical contact
  • spreading rumours about a person's sexual orientation

 

Racist Bullying

  • discrimination
  • prejudice
  • comments about colour
  • comments about nationality
  • comments about ethnic
  • comments about traveller background

 

Relational Bullying

  • Ignoring
  • huddling together to exclude others
  • spreading rumours
  • publicly humiliating
  • social rejection, threatening social rejection from the group                                            

 

 

 Why is bullying wrong?

"Sure bullying is just part of growing up!" WRONG! Bullying is wrong and can make you feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes people feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick or even suicidal. Bullying should not  be part of growing up. 

 

Why are some kids bullied?

      Some kids are bullied for no particular reason but sometimes it's because they are different in some way. This may include being fat, thin, tall, short, their hair or skin colour, being quiet, wearing glasses, having big ears, small ears, sticky-out ears, crooked teeth, being from a different culture, having different likes or dislikes, the "wrong" clothes,  or any other perceived or fabricated "excuse". These excuses have one thing in common: THEY ARE ALL IRRELEVANT. Sometimes kids are bullied because they look like they wouldn't stand up for themselves if confronted by a bully and that's exactly what a bully looks for in a person. Whatever the reason, if there is one or not, NOBODY deserves to be bullied.


 

Why do some people bully?

There are a lot of reasons why some people bully.
The most frequent answers given by bullies are 'to feel powerful' or 'to look cool' or to 'show off to mates'. They see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge.
Some bullies do it to get attention or to make other people afraid of them. Bullies are often driven by jealousy and envy, any kid who is bright and popular is likely to be targeted by a bully.
Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.

                                                               

 
Are you a victim of bullying and what can you do about it?

When you are being bullied, you might feel that you are the only person who is being treated this way, but there are many concerned adults who have studied bullying and found that it happens to many, many children.

Supposing you are in a classroom of 25 pupils, there are probably between 3 and 5 other students who are also being bullied in your classroom. And that is just your classroom....it is happening to that many kids in every other classroom in your school and in every classroom around the world. 

 It has been discovered though, that bullying really has nothing to do with you-what you look like or what you wear, how you act, or whatever excuse the bullies have used to justify to themselves why they are bullying you- bullying is done because the bully has a problem.

Since it is the bully who has a problem, there is not much you can do to change their behaviour, but there are some things you can do to keep yourself safe.

  • Talk to someone you trust! (friend, teacher, counselor, etc.) Remember this is NOT telling tales! You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped.
  • Don’t hide it…that is the bullies’ biggest weapon
  • Try not to show that you are upset or angry.
  • Think of clever replies to their comments.
  • Remember material things are not worth getting hurt over!
  • Avoid being alone in places the bully is likely to pick on you (lunch, on the way to PE, less supervised areas).
  • Asking the bully to repeat what they said can put them off.
  • Keep specific notes of what is happening (when, where, who witnessed)…but keep to the facts and try not to exaggerate…this will make proving it easier later on.
  • you might find it easier to write down what's been happening on paper and then give it to someone you trust
  • Don’t hit the bully…many times it is the victim that gets in trouble from reacting.
  • Don’t believe the lies that they say about you!
  • Be persistent…keep trying to find an adult who can help you.
  • Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again.
  • Try to stay calm and look as confident as you can
  • Be firm and clear - look them in the eye and tell them to stop
  • Get away from the situation as quickly as possible 

 

Do you know someone who is being bullied and what can you do?

If you see someone being bullied you should ALWAYS try to stop it, otherwise you are showing the bully that it's okay to hurt others. This may require you to either stand up to the bully if the victim won't, help the person being bullied to tell an adult they can trust or you tell an adult you can trust about the bullying. You should show the bully that you think what they're doing is stupid and mean. 

 

Are you a bully?

Do you regularly tease or taunt others? Do you punch, shove, take the mickey, abuse, pick on or threaten, intimidate, scare or harass other pupils at your school?. Are you part of a group that does any of the above to someone or group of people? Seriously think about what you are doing?  Your treatment towards another person could have a serious affect on them now or in the future. Be brave enough to stop and think about what you are doing. NOBODY deserves to be bullied. 

Bullying is anti-social and no one likes a bully. In fact many bullies don't like themselves for it. Also schools and work places are taking bullying more seriously, so getting caught can have serious consequences. 

Here are a few steps to get you to stop bullying...

  • Think about how bullying affects peoples lives - is that what you want to do to someone?
  • Laugh with people not at them.
  • Take yourself seriously and get professional help if it'll help you stop bullying.
  • Think long and hard about why and how you started bullying.
  • Congratulations! If you've got this far you've already started to tackle the problem - keep it up

                                                                   

Remember, it's best to treat others the way you would like to be treated.

                           

 

© HSE Ireland.