Why bother?

Assertiveness helps people to leave situations with a good feeling about themselves. It means you have compromised or negotiated an outcome. It is not always exactly what you want. Some people find this frustrating because they hope assertiveness will help them get more of what they want.

Assertiveness is more a way of living that is respectful of yourself and your own rights and respectful of others and their rights. People who use assertiveness regularly report these advantages:

• Feel more confident, relaxed and happy to be themselves.

• Are more aware of who they are (including their strengths and weakness).

• Spend less time comparing themselves with others

• Make more realistic decisions and choices for themselves.

• Choose more successful relationships, by accepting that not everyone in the world will or can be caring towards you!

• They feel they can regain control in their life and live it to the fullest!

Good communication
• listen well - that means really listen to what someone has to say, not just wait for a pause to say your stuff

• Be aware of body language

• Speak clearly and easily - say what you really mean, think or feel

• Start and keep conversations going

• Be able to stay calm and relaxed.

The bright side - Assertiveness is not just a way of dealing or coping with negative things in life. It is also not something people are "just born with" or are "lucky to have". To choose to make assertiveness a big part of life is to:

• Know you are worth the effort of assertiveness

• Take positive and constructive steps forward in your life

• Start and nurture a lifestyle that you really want

• Start and look after positive relationships you want for yourself

• Seek out what you really want - not just wait for "luck or chance" ?

• Give and take compliments - both for others or yourself.