Bullying

I'm being bullied what can I do?

Admit to yourself that you are being bullied and that the behaviour being aimed at you is unfair and unjustified. Try to look at your situation - and the bully - objectively. Ask yourself: would I accept this behaviour in someone I did not know?

• Believe in yourself. Don't believe what the bully says of you. You know that is not true.

• If the bullying is affecting you physically, go to see your doctor. A talk with your GP, or a spell of sick leave may give you the space in which to bounce back.

• Try to stand up for yourself. If you need to, take assertiveness training.

• Train yourself to be able to stare someone out - it gives the impression of confidence - and teach yourself to say 'no' emphatically, then walk away.

• Check out your body language. If you stoop, hang your head and hunch over, you may be giving off 'victim' signals. Practise walking with confidence , standing straight with head held high and taking deep breaths.

• Try not to show that the bully has upset you - they may become bored with getting no reaction from you and stop.

• Once they begin to discuss the bullying, it may seem to be all they can talk about. Be patient and let them go on - it's better for them to let it all out than bottle it up.

What to do next?
• Don't over - react, victims need rational advice and help, not emotional overload.

• Believe the victim and not any authority figure who may dismiss the claims of bullying simply as 'part' of growing up or 'part of the rough and tumble of life'. No one should have to put up with bullying.

• Ask victims if they have any suggestions about changing the situation.

• Seek advice from an individual or a support group with experience in this area.

• Keep an eye on the victim. If they threaten suicide, take this very seriously and obtain professional help immediately.

If you suspect that a friend or family member is being bullied... what to look for
• A change in behaviour, such as suffering a lack of concentration and / or becoming withdrawn, excessively clingy, depressed, fearful, emotionally up and down.

• Appearing to have no close friends, not being part of groups, not discussing positive events from their experience.

• Happy at the weekend but not during the week. A drop in performance in school or at work..

• Physical signs: stomach aches, headaches, sleep difficulties.

• Making negative remarks about themselves including phrases such as "nobody else thinks I'm any good"..

• Having too many unexplained cuts and bruises.

• Bingeing on food, cigarettes, alcohol.

What to do next?
• Don't question victims intently or ask anything that might make them feel that they have done something wrong.

• Broach the subject indirectly, giving them the option to talk about it or not.

• Let them know that you are willing to listen at any time.

• When they start to talk, listen carefully to what they have to say.

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